Making intentional choices.

These last weeks I have set out to be more intentional than I ever have, most likely in my entire life.  When I say intentional, I mean that even when I don’t feel like reading the bible, or visiting my neighbors who are beyond poor, or making time to love my neighbor as myself - through my actions… I mean that I do it because I know it’s right, I know that I will be extremely blessed through it, and I know that it’s simply what God has asked me to do, when He says follow me. Because if we lived and did things according to how we feel… well – I won’t even touch on how unproductive and how not so purposed our lives would be.
 

You may think that it’s always natural and easy for people living in such need and piercing poverty on every side, at every moment.  But it’s not.  It’s a choice to go outside the gates and engage with the amazing people we live among.  It’s a choice to make time when I am walking in the road with Malaki when an exhausted older Mama, Renat clasps my hand tightly into hers and says come down the mountain to my house.  (As I think to myself - it’s almost 6 and I must have the kids bathed and dinner on the table at exactly six). It’s a choice to care enough to ask questions that reveal her husband just died, and also 4 of her precious children over the past years; in which I knew she wanted me to join her for a brief moment in that pain, that loneliness.  It’s a choice.  An intentional choice, that is not always easy and surly not because we feel to do it.  At times, yes, we are compelled and compassion fills our hearts until they are near bursting.  But other days, it’s those intentional choices. 

 

I have made a choice, an intentional choice to make time for people, especially those right in front of me.  I have made a choice to not be so attached to all the beautiful things in my home (I love house décor, as all my new décor from IKEA Germany would strongly attest), I have made a choice to love my neighbor as myself, or at least to try… nipping my selfishness where it run rampant the most.  At times I reassure myself I deserve a comfortable life and that material things are clearly blessings from the Lord… and many times, they can be.  But a truth I am realizing is that it’s not about having nice possessions in balance with giving to others which seems to be the problem, it’s when we begin to love our and hold our possessions to dear in our hearts, at times closer than we hold the words that God speaks to us and the hurting people around us that God has demanded we love as ourselves.  Love your neighbor as yourself? What does that even entail…?  
 

I want to walk out obedience to God’s words far above the love I have for any of my earthly possessions.  And I want to cultivate in my heart intentional actions and choices that clearly attest to that in my life.  Plus, if Malaki has 5 pairs of shoes; why not give one away, or two that other children can have the joy of wearing such a treasure; still leaving 3 behind...  I have yet to meet a child that can wear all 5 pairs of shoes at one time.  Anyway, every time we give more it never fails that we have more; I speak of the loads of people that bless us with all kinds of bags and bags of clothes and things for both our family and the kids at our homes.  Never-ending, and touching our hearts every-single-time.  I can almost hear the argument creeping up “but only give out of what you have… because you don’t want to become poor in the midst of helping the poor… right?”  In these last seasons of life I have honestly felt richer in experiences and the pure lavishing joy that falls upon a person when lives are restored, hope is given and love is shared than any joy or excitement I have ever gained from any material things on the face of the earth.  At this point, that seems to questions much of how I have understood “the richness of life verses contentment in the past decades.
 

It’s the intentional choice to read the bible every morning before I begin work… why?  If I choose not to, my work would become much more urgent, much more demanding and in the end – I wouldn’t have taken any time at all.  At times like today, I inwardly fought to do so thinking how important the work I had to accomplish was.  So I mustered up my self-control, thinking – Lord, you are all I live for, you are everything – it doesn’t even make sense to not be able to start this new day he has given me without taking time with him.  Through my intentional choice today, He spoke an unwavering truth so kindly – yet sternly to my heart. 
 

Matthew 19:16-22

Let me sum it up for you.
 

A young ruler approached Jesus and he asks him - What can I do to have eternal life?
 

Jesus says: well, if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.  You know the ones that talk about not murdering, don’t steal, don’t bear false witness, don’t forget to honor your father and mother, and of course you need to love your neighbor as yourself.
 

The young guy then says, well yeah – I have kept these very things from my youth…. What do I still lack?
 

The Jesus said: If you want to be perfect, go sell what you have and give it to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven; and come follow me.
 

After that, the young ruler heard the words of Jesus and we walked away sorrowful because he had great possession’s.   
 

Today, I am challenged to have the right posture in my heart… may God be superior to all things I conjure up in my heart and mind, may he reign above any attachments I have on this earth be it material things or relationships.  May He be King, today in my life.  And day by day may I make the intentional choice to keep him there… right where He belongs.